Im over stressed today and pretty upset. SW called today the one who supervises on behalf of Liverpool is based in Dundee. Anyway she rang up this morning and asked if she could.come visit before Liverpool SW get here on Thursday, but she wants to bring my health visitor with her?! I dont get it. There is no need for her to come along. Sick of it. Dundee and Liverpool are fighting and throwing us in the middle and i really cannot handle this just now!
Tuesday 22 February 2011
Monday 21 February 2011
Friday 25th & what it means to us...
So yeah here we are, Monday night. Just the usual kids are bedded soaps followed by one born every minute just a nice normal quiet Monday night.
Friday can change all that for us.
You see Friday is Joes review. A bunch of SW get together and decide the fate of a 4 year old childs life. Only Theres one big problem. SWIM dont take the child into consideration, all they seem to care for are politics and money. Its sickening.
So this Friday, thanks to geography and lazy SW, Joe might be taking from us and passed from carer to carer until they find a family to adopt him (we wont be allowed to do this because of the whole English Scottish diffrences) they will be more than happy to remove him from a loving, stable (well as stable as most right?!), caring family home. He calls me mum and Millie his sister. he has a puppy and his own room, with his own toys. For the first time in this little boys life he actually has a life! and again, thrush thoughy they can just come and take him away sickens me to the core.
A simple example of the type of SW we are dealing with...
The day I was in labour they rang Lee and told him they were lifting Joe that day as it was not possible for them to travel back and forth for contact etc. They knew I was in labour as I was started off so had my dates. They were willing to take Joe just as the new baby came along. Dont get me wrong, im not qualified in physcology or anything along those lines but a child, with a difficult background, finally settled. To then take him at that time, would he not feel "ah they have a new baby so dont want me anymore?!". The thing that annoys me with SW is it often appears they dont actually care for the children as they certianly dont treat them as anything other than objects.
Anyway im ranting on now. Just wish me luck for Friday! We need it!
Kirst xx
Friday can change all that for us.
You see Friday is Joes review. A bunch of SW get together and decide the fate of a 4 year old childs life. Only Theres one big problem. SWIM dont take the child into consideration, all they seem to care for are politics and money. Its sickening.
So this Friday, thanks to geography and lazy SW, Joe might be taking from us and passed from carer to carer until they find a family to adopt him (we wont be allowed to do this because of the whole English Scottish diffrences) they will be more than happy to remove him from a loving, stable (well as stable as most right?!), caring family home. He calls me mum and Millie his sister. he has a puppy and his own room, with his own toys. For the first time in this little boys life he actually has a life! and again, thrush thoughy they can just come and take him away sickens me to the core.
A simple example of the type of SW we are dealing with...
The day I was in labour they rang Lee and told him they were lifting Joe that day as it was not possible for them to travel back and forth for contact etc. They knew I was in labour as I was started off so had my dates. They were willing to take Joe just as the new baby came along. Dont get me wrong, im not qualified in physcology or anything along those lines but a child, with a difficult background, finally settled. To then take him at that time, would he not feel "ah they have a new baby so dont want me anymore?!". The thing that annoys me with SW is it often appears they dont actually care for the children as they certianly dont treat them as anything other than objects.
Anyway im ranting on now. Just wish me luck for Friday! We need it!
Kirst xx
Friday 25th & what it means to us...
So yeah here we are, Monday night. Just the usual kids are bedded soaps followed by one born every minute just a nice normal quiet Monday night.
Friday can change all that for us.
You see Friday is Joes review. A bunch of SW get together and decide the fate of a 4 year old childs life. Only Theres one big problem. SWIM dont take the child into consideration, all they seem to care for are politics and money. Its sickening.
So this Friday, thanks to geography and lazy SW, Joe might be taking from us and passed from carer to carer until they find a family to adopt him (we wont be allowed to do this because of the whole English Scottish diffrences) they will be more than happy to remove him from a loving, stable (well as stable as most right?!), caring family home. He calls me mum and Millie his sister. he has a puppy and his own room, with his own toys. For the first time in this little boys life he actually has a life! and again, thrush thoughy they can just come and take him away sickens me to the core.
A simple example of the type of SW we are dealing with...
The day I was in labour they rang Lee and told him they were lifting Joe that day as it was not possible for them to travel back and forth for contact etc. They knew I was in labour as I was started off so had my dates. They were willing to take Joe just as the new baby came along. Dont get me wrong, im not qualified in physcology or anything along those lines but a child, with a difficult background, finally settled. To then take him at that time, would he not feel "ah they have a new baby so dont want me anymore?!". The thing that annoys me with SW is it often appears they dont actually care for the children as they certianly dont treat them as anything other than objects.
Anyway im ranting on now. Just wish me luck for Friday! We need it!
Kirst xx
Friday can change all that for us.
You see Friday is Joes review. A bunch of SW get together and decide the fate of a 4 year old childs life. Only Theres one big problem. SWIM dont take the child into consideration, all they seem to care for are politics and money. Its sickening.
So this Friday, thanks to geography and lazy SW, Joe might be taking from us and passed from carer to carer until they find a family to adopt him (we wont be allowed to do this because of the whole English Scottish diffrences) they will be more than happy to remove him from a loving, stable (well as stable as most right?!), caring family home. He calls me mum and Millie his sister. he has a puppy and his own room, with his own toys. For the first time in this little boys life he actually has a life! and again, thrush thoughy they can just come and take him away sickens me to the core.
A simple example of the type of SW we are dealing with...
The day I was in labour they rang Lee and told him they were lifting Joe that day as it was not possible for them to travel back and forth for contact etc. They knew I was in labour as I was started off so had my dates. They were willing to take Joe just as the new baby came along. Dont get me wrong, im not qualified in physcology or anything along those lines but a child, with a difficult background, finally settled. To then take him at that time, would he not feel "ah they have a new baby so dont want me anymore?!". The thing that annoys me with SW is it often appears they dont actually care for the children as they certianly dont treat them as anything other than objects.
Anyway im ranting on now. Just wish me luck for Friday! We need it!
Kirst xx
Friday 18 February 2011
Bringing up Joe
I'm looking for fun things to do with Joe, Its not easy having someone else's child all the time. So many rules we have to follow, most of them plain silly!
Id say at least 5-6 times a week Joe tells us he hates us, throws a tantrum and tells us both he wants to go stay with his real mum, then it turns into why does my mum not want me. Its heartbreaking. I get through because I know he doesn't mean it and I know he loves us both. I really do hope when he is bigger he will understand. The things Joe has seen in his tiny life are unreal and I wont share them, but if you knew the half of it you would be reduced to tears!
There was a time when I was pregnant with Millie I had a breakdown, I couldn't cope, I was ill and could not leave the house as I was sick all the time. It was hard for Joe to as Lee was always at work and I was horrid, I was letting him watch movies all day and it wasn't fair on him in the least. there was one day Joe was playing up as kids do but I yelled at him and I felt so guilty I ran away to my room and cried, I couldn't stop. I rang Lee at work and asked him to come home he wouldn't. I rang my mum and she came and got Joe to give me a break. When Lee came home that night I told him what had happened and asked him to ring social work to come and lift Joe as it wasn't fair on him the way I was being, I also booked an appointment with the doctor and told Lee I couldn't go through with the pregnancy as I was going to be a bad mum. I was 23 weeks and knew I was having a girl. I'm so grateful now that I didn't ring social services and I didn't go to that appointment as my life wouldn't be what it is now.
Later on I was diagnosed with depression, I felt even lower when they told me that.
We rang social services and asked for help, they agreed to come 3 days a week and take Joe for a few hours. They took him to play centers and parks etc. He loved it but started playing up more as he knew he would get these rewards even if he played up. Emily will be 10 weeks old tomorrow, SW rang me on Tuesday to say they were coming Friday to take him out and we finally said no, we don't need it anymore, we then got told they will have to do a report as we refused help! Its so stressful, you can't win, ever!
As my pregnancy was coming to and end I was in and out of hospital as my sickness was getting so bad and my anemia even worse, I got so upset I had been in for 3 days and the Dr came in and said as I wasn't throwing up much they were sending me home, I was angry! I had thrown up non stop and nurses were not removing bowels when people came to visit they were being removed by them. I broke down and told the Dr if they didn't get the baby out of me I planned to research ways to do it myself. I didn't mean anything bad, I meant the usual, eat pineapple, sex, long walks etc. Anyway I got reported to SW as a risk, they then contacted child protection. that broke my heart. They came to me in hospital and apologised as it had been taken the wrong way and blown out of proportion. The lady could not have been nicer, such a weight had been lifted!
That was on the Thursday, just under and hour later I went to Labour suite, all systems go! 18 hours later I gave Birth to baby Emily (that's a whole other story!)
When we came home things were looking good, we moved house the day before I got started off! When I left there were boxes everywhere and it was a mess. When I came home it was exactly that, A home. It was great, Joe seemed happier, I WAS happier. Life was good. What happens next? 25th Feb that's what! Ill keep you all posted!
Kirst xxx
Id say at least 5-6 times a week Joe tells us he hates us, throws a tantrum and tells us both he wants to go stay with his real mum, then it turns into why does my mum not want me. Its heartbreaking. I get through because I know he doesn't mean it and I know he loves us both. I really do hope when he is bigger he will understand. The things Joe has seen in his tiny life are unreal and I wont share them, but if you knew the half of it you would be reduced to tears!
There was a time when I was pregnant with Millie I had a breakdown, I couldn't cope, I was ill and could not leave the house as I was sick all the time. It was hard for Joe to as Lee was always at work and I was horrid, I was letting him watch movies all day and it wasn't fair on him in the least. there was one day Joe was playing up as kids do but I yelled at him and I felt so guilty I ran away to my room and cried, I couldn't stop. I rang Lee at work and asked him to come home he wouldn't. I rang my mum and she came and got Joe to give me a break. When Lee came home that night I told him what had happened and asked him to ring social work to come and lift Joe as it wasn't fair on him the way I was being, I also booked an appointment with the doctor and told Lee I couldn't go through with the pregnancy as I was going to be a bad mum. I was 23 weeks and knew I was having a girl. I'm so grateful now that I didn't ring social services and I didn't go to that appointment as my life wouldn't be what it is now.
Later on I was diagnosed with depression, I felt even lower when they told me that.
We rang social services and asked for help, they agreed to come 3 days a week and take Joe for a few hours. They took him to play centers and parks etc. He loved it but started playing up more as he knew he would get these rewards even if he played up. Emily will be 10 weeks old tomorrow, SW rang me on Tuesday to say they were coming Friday to take him out and we finally said no, we don't need it anymore, we then got told they will have to do a report as we refused help! Its so stressful, you can't win, ever!
As my pregnancy was coming to and end I was in and out of hospital as my sickness was getting so bad and my anemia even worse, I got so upset I had been in for 3 days and the Dr came in and said as I wasn't throwing up much they were sending me home, I was angry! I had thrown up non stop and nurses were not removing bowels when people came to visit they were being removed by them. I broke down and told the Dr if they didn't get the baby out of me I planned to research ways to do it myself. I didn't mean anything bad, I meant the usual, eat pineapple, sex, long walks etc. Anyway I got reported to SW as a risk, they then contacted child protection. that broke my heart. They came to me in hospital and apologised as it had been taken the wrong way and blown out of proportion. The lady could not have been nicer, such a weight had been lifted!
That was on the Thursday, just under and hour later I went to Labour suite, all systems go! 18 hours later I gave Birth to baby Emily (that's a whole other story!)
When we came home things were looking good, we moved house the day before I got started off! When I left there were boxes everywhere and it was a mess. When I came home it was exactly that, A home. It was great, Joe seemed happier, I WAS happier. Life was good. What happens next? 25th Feb that's what! Ill keep you all posted!
Kirst xxx
Wednesday 16 February 2011
so it begins
My life...
I'm 23 married with 2 kids.
My Daughter Millie, currently 9 weeks
and my nephew Joe, who is 4, lives with us on a long term basis.
Ive got a puppy called snoop, we foster him to, my brother could no longer care for him due to work commitments.
anyway, I love my life. As hard as it can be sometimes I wouldnt change it for the world.
We live in a nice flat and scrape by these days but hoping, in the nesr future, things will be better.
We have a holiday booked for May this year, in Tenerife, where im having my daughter christend (actually cant wait!)
so yeah anyway I just opened this blog for a bit of random ramblings, im no good at grammer and not a great writer but bear with me ;)
Kirst xx
I'm 23 married with 2 kids.
My Daughter Millie, currently 9 weeks
and my nephew Joe, who is 4, lives with us on a long term basis.
Ive got a puppy called snoop, we foster him to, my brother could no longer care for him due to work commitments.
anyway, I love my life. As hard as it can be sometimes I wouldnt change it for the world.
We live in a nice flat and scrape by these days but hoping, in the nesr future, things will be better.
We have a holiday booked for May this year, in Tenerife, where im having my daughter christend (actually cant wait!)
so yeah anyway I just opened this blog for a bit of random ramblings, im no good at grammer and not a great writer but bear with me ;)
Kirst xx
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